|
|
 |
I Love You
Posted: 01 July 2003
Word Count: 47
Summary: A short piece exploring the meanings of the words I love you, and dedicated to the love of my life.
|
Font Size
|
|
I Love You
All that I was
All that I am
All that I ever will be
I give it freely to you
With all Joy
Now and forever
Eternally.
And for all time
Completely, and for all time
Because……………..
You, my love, are so worth it.
|
Comments by other Members
| |
 Stacey at 09:14 on 01 July 2003
 Report this post
|
Peter, what a beautiful poem, it sent shivers down my spine, and also nearly a tear to my eye! A wonderfully simple yet entirely effective piece.
Thanks,
Stacey.
| |
 bluesky3d at 09:28 on 01 July 2003
Report this post
|
Yes, I agree...
love poems often don't seem to hit the mark out of their individual context (ie the occasion or the person for they are written), but this has a wonderful universality.
Thanks for posting that Peter
Andrew :o)
| |
|
|
olebut at 10:00 on 01 July 2003
Report this post
|
Peter
I was enthralled util the last 4 words of the last line which I felt in comparison with the rest of the poem were 'ugly and stark'
but otherwise a beautifully soft poem
take care
david
| |
scribbler121 at 10:34 on 01 July 2003
Report this post
|
Thanks guys I really appreciate your comments.I feel very humbled. With regard to the last four words, I wanted to convey a feeling of resigned simplicity, a sense that when all that could be said, has been said, what else is there. For me simply worth, a feeling that her very being is of supreme value to me
| |
bluesky3d at 10:47 on 01 July 2003
Report this post
|
Yes,
The last two lines are almost like a PostScript (PS).. at the end, and not part of the main body, but without the last two lines it reads too much like a prayer, and so it needs those two lines to make it personal.
That is why love poems are difficult in a wider context, to strike that balance between the individual versus the universal... and people are always going to read them differently according to their own taste, and even what mood they happen to be in at the time of reading it.
Andrew :o)
| |
olebut at 11:50 on 01 July 2003
Report this post
|
scribbler I understand what you are trying to do but I still consider that those words just dont work with the rest of the poem.
take care
david
| |
Adam at 15:43 on 01 July 2003
Report this post
|
Scribbler,
I really like this poem, most notably because love is so difficult to render with words. I think you manage to concisely and simply convey the complex ineffability of love in all its glory.
I have written a love poem myself, called Sleepless Dreamer, which is along similar themes, although written in a very different way. I should very much like you to read it and give me your comments.
Adam
| |
scribbler121 at 00:21 on 02 July 2003
Report this post
|
Hi Adam, I'd really like to read your poem, but I can't find it. Thanks for your comments on mine, I really appreciate them
Peter.
| |
fevvers at 17:37 on 03 July 2003
Report this post
|
Dear Scribbler
There is something about the hypnotic quality of the music that is lovely, but I think as a reader I would prefer you as a writer to show me the love rather than tell it me outright. I know the speaker loves this person but I don't feel it coming through. There is a truly emotional and genuine poem in this idea, - that everything in the world is important because this person is in it - but I don't think it's quite there yet, and I think it's the 'everything' that's the key - why don't you try listing some of the actual things you would give, some of the times, some of the emotions as well - this will open the poem up and make the reader fully understand why the 'you' in the poem is worth it. On this though, I'm afraid I agree with David, the end seems too much of a tidying up the poem and also made me think of the Loreal advert, but I think there is a real poem in this piece waiting to be found.
Cheers
| |
pene at 17:29 on 05 July 2003
Report this post
|
beautiful! this was so moving! I think you have illustrated in a very simple, understandable way what all humans aim to achieve in their lives........ finding a true soul mate
thank you for sharing this
best wishes to you and your partner
Pene
| |
peterxbrown at 23:29 on 14 August 2003
Report this post
|
I too love this poem, but I think I agree (mostly!) with David about the final two lines ("ugly and stark" may be a bit strong!).I think its the "so worth it" which I react to.I understand the function of the last two lines as suggested by Andrew but the american use of "so" (often as "so not") impinges for me and instead of being "personal" is over colloquial or throw-away. The concept "simply worth" refered to by Peter in a reply seems exactly right but "so worth" is not the same. Its still a lovely poem!
| |
roger at 09:00 on 15 August 2003
Report this post
|
Hi Scribbler,
I don't know much about writing poetry, but I do know that whoever was the recipient of this (including the last line, which makes it personal) would have been smiling broadly with pleasure for days. And isn't that the purpose of such a poem? You didn't make her day, you made her year!
| |
| |
Comments by other Members
