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Hidden in Me

by dewey 

Posted: 14 February 2005
Word Count: 153
Summary: I don't know... I wrote, you're reading it, that's enough.

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Stop talking I can barely hear myself think without all your thoughts crowding them out.
He's speaking through me again, unable to talk I can only listen.
Well I am taking control for a while.

All different people live in one head arguing fighting for control of what's said.
one man for work another for friends
a different for family and so the mind bends.
Moods that control this foul bag of water
squandered of daylight, laid bare on my alter.
They're all separate men, doing the driving, the speaking
a new one jumps up as the last man is weakening.
Some men are good, others aren't so
some are just men with nowhere to go.
Three live with me, a scientist, a poet
a dark one; the mad one, at least the only who'll show it.

A trident of natures locked in one casket,
The trinity of me. However, I mask it.

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Comments by other Members

TheGodfather at 02:31 on 15 February 2005  Report this post

Welcome to Writewords! Enjoyed your poem. The rhymes and meter flow together fairly seemlessly the entire way. I think you missed a word in "at the least the only who'll show it". Also I think "alter" is supposed to be "altar". Whether you're refering to schizophrenia or just different sides of a normal personality, this poem works. I hate deciding which side to be. Good work.


The Walrus at 20:19 on 15 February 2005  Report this post
An interesting snapshot of acute awareness of self and others.

The Walrus

joanie at 18:52 on 16 February 2005  Report this post
Hi dewey, and welcome to WW. This is clever insight into human nature - trying to be all things to all people. I am reminded of "To thine own self be true." Easily said!

I enjoyed it.


roovacrag at 21:27 on 18 February 2005  Report this post
Dewey welcome to WW.
A full and powerfull poem. Full of emotion and expression.
You write from the heart and so the flow goes.

Well done

dewey at 14:15 on 22 February 2005  Report this post
Thank you all very much for you kind comments. I am new to the site and wasn't sure whether I should submit something. Your comments have made me want to know what other people think of my work, and I don't mean just good things. It's interesting to see what I have written from someone else's perspective.

Thanks again


paul53 [for I am he] at 18:23 on 27 March 2005  Report this post
I think we've all gone through periods when those in our lives try to steer us. There are many liberating moments; one, improperly called arrogance, is declaring: "I deserve better than this."
You described your feelings well here, hence the many comments. Join a group and let your poetry grow.

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