Excellent. Wish I'd written it. The juxtaposition of the various messages creates a new whole.

Lovely litany of doom and despair!!


Best,

Mike

Goddy a well constructed poem and with feeling that blessed the soul.
Great one.
xxxx Alice

The ending some how made me laugh! I feel like i had one of those days today! very good observation of how life sometimes feels.

jewelsx

Nice one!

'You are good-looking when she is drunk'

This sounds like the well-deserved self-pity of many of us!

I was expecting a 'punch line' though, that turns the misery to joy somehow.


Brian

Hello Godfather,

One of the best pieces I have read on the site lately. Coherent, lucid, so easy to identify with, and yet not entirely despondent!

Well written.

John P.

It`s a bit like "Hi i`m your negative guru".
It reminded me of a sargent major ranting at someone incesantly.
Had a good character feeling about it.
film style feel ,as ther others some good lines ,easy but provocative .

This reminded me of 'Sunscreen' by Baz Lehrmann (?), except he tried to be optimistic, whereas this just says 'deal with it!'

Like it!

Cheers,

Anthony

Hi Godfather! You know I really like this piece! I do like some "list" poems. I only had one crit and that was I was waiting for a little bit more at the end, on the last line. I know it is just me I guess.

I listened to a poem awhile ago on the BBC radio (I think 7) called sometimes (forgot the authoress); a list of sometimes then a series of lists of strange things, then right at the end after a description of a piece of melting mud crust, there was a pause followed by "it could happen to you! (sometimes miracles/unusual events happen). It was a great "punchline" if you like (though not that strong and not well represented here). I suppose you were not looking to place a similar thing. I was just trying to explain my expectation that built during the poem. But never mind I really liked it.

G

maybe I will try to find the poem on the internet