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You Say It First.

by laurafraser 

Posted: 21 February 2005
Word Count: 368

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I Love You.
these three words kiss the back of my mouth,
pleading to get out, so that they might skip across to your ears.
my gums say no. not now, not ready. this boy who is already a man.
when they ask? whenwhenwhen?
my eyes look at him as i stroke his cheek,
so smooth, it is enough to stare at it and brush my lips across it,
yet i know my eyes wish to go further: to the top.
where sidebyside, there lie his eyes,
and to stare into them is to feel terrifyingly perfect:
it is as if you give me
the wisdom of the sage moulded in the innocence of the daisy
but to then turn to you, to look at you and say
I Love You. Love? i? You?
I Love You.

now dissect each word, perhaps make a little incision down their bellies,
inspecting the void within those words.
the total absence of something,
thus making what i to you equate as nothing.
so why do these words feel so swollen with grandiose gestures?
i. love. you: monosyllables.

i am afraid of monosyllables?

perhaps, you could say these words to me first.
take your lips behind my ears
and drip them like treacle from your throat, to your mouth, to your lips
sending these pilgrims homeward bound:
allowing your words to sink beside my soul.
as if they'd never left,
fluttering into visibility,
like a Shakespearean soliloquy,
these words are my plays raison d’être
like the drunken trout brawling in the night to sex 'er
without you i feel bereft, cold.
and then i smile, remembering those three words
and the heat they carry inside them,
suddenly feeling absurd, like a worm in a pot of lemon curd
thinking thoughts of you is to open the door to colloquialisms'
and a billion clichés splintered into a trillion prisms,
hyperbole looks like a fading light
next to the exclamations exploding and imploding
inside my skin and away from your sight.
enough. i have bleated all night.
and so...and so...?
ah, yes. it is so.
Inside and outside in the up most delight
I Love You I Love You,
now darling,
Good Night.

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Comments by other Members

jewelsx at 01:25 on 22 February 2005  Report this post

i thought that this was brilliant, really easy to read with a good use of imagery - i like the fact that you used more than just sight in creating these images.

good work - i really enjoyed it

thanks and all the best


laurafraser at 08:02 on 22 February 2005  Report this post
Thank-you jewelsx


Chem at 10:46 on 22 February 2005  Report this post

Great poem and one that would work well as a performance piece, do you ever perform your poems?


Beanie Baby at 10:51 on 22 February 2005  Report this post
This is really good, deep, thought-provoking poetry. Thank you for warming my heart again.


laurafraser at 12:25 on 22 February 2005  Report this post

thank-you! No at the moment I'm a student, so despite the fcat that 80% of my writing timeis devoted to poetry and writing and a meagre 20% to dissertation s and other foul things I havn't been very ambitious with my poetry. I have been encouraged by another WW member to try, but am afraid to admit got swamped by studentitis and ended up doing nothing about it! Whats that student adage...."maybe one day...!"


it makes me happy that it did! Thank-you for reading

The Walrus at 12:39 on 22 February 2005  Report this post
Not sure if I said this before Laura, but what I love about your poetry is that it comes across as a stream of subconscious, flowing effortlessly across the page. I also like the fact that you completely ignore conventional poetic structures which I feel is more indicative of human nature/feelings. Emotions afterall are not dictated by rhyme or reason. I also like the way you use alternative vocab. I mean one does not normally come across 'gums' in a love poem! I never knew words had 'bellies'! And of course, as Jewelsx says, good use of imagery.

A refreshing love poem!

The Walrus

Chem at 13:00 on 22 February 2005  Report this post

Sounds like we are doing much the same thing then. I'm a creative writing student. What and where are you studying?


laurafraser at 13:41 on 22 February 2005  Report this post
Thank-you Walrus for your comments, i whole heartedly agree with you re 'emotions ...are not dictated by ryhme or reason." There is no more to say on that.

No you are right, words do not have 'bellies' but i meant to infer that every word is swollen slightly with their own marsupial's which contain alternative meanings, or associations with other words etc, make an 'incision' into a word and out pours a veritable treasure trove of unexplored connections...



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