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The Overcoat

by John G.Hall 

Posted: 23 February 2005
Word Count: 113
Summary: Wearing it well...


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The Overcoat

the empty overcoat
hung in the hallway
the threads just still
from a sudden walk,

the dead parent perfume
of jasmine laced tobacco
piled in the beggar's bowl,

a smokers unlit pyre cold
a box of lucifers unstruck
a leather pouch half-packed,

the empty overcoat
waited his perpetual fit
the loose sleeves wasted
on life's heavy cuffs,

the curled lapel still grew
a red poppy of faded paper
from a brushed landscape,

a collar turned against winter
a ripped pocket slipped agape
a torn button hole repaired,

the empty overcoat
haunted the cloakroom
a bent shadow hanging
a father's shape off the peg
waiting for a son to wear.


John G.Hall(C)2005






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Comments by other Members



joanie at 12:19 on 23 February 2005  Report this post
Hi John. Fantastic description; I can see and smell it perfectly!

I love 'the threads just still/from a sudden walk,' and 'the empty overcoat/haunted the cloakroom'.

The last two lines are excellent; understated but full of meaning.

Lovely.

joanie

Tina at 20:08 on 23 February 2005  Report this post
Hi John

I really enjoyed reading this and all the inherent feelings it gives rise to.

My favourite lines are :

it's bent shadow hanging,
a fathers shape off it's peg
waiting for a son to wear

For me the poem is strongest at the beginning and end as I least liked the 2nd and 3rd stanzas but the images are very clear.

Thanks
Tina


Ticonderoga at 14:28 on 24 February 2005  Report this post
This is very poignant. Reminds me of a recurring nightmare I had for years when I was young, after my father died; also has echoes of Yeats's 'coat upon a coathanger'. Fine piece.


Best,

Mike

Hamburger Yogi & PBW at 06:44 on 25 February 2005  Report this post
A contemplative mood verging on the melancholic.

Should I mention grammar? 'Beggars bowl' and 'fathers shape' as possessives would have an apostrophe. Half packed' would normally be hyphenated.

Hamburger Yogi

Account Closed at 18:50 on 26 February 2005  Report this post
Loved the focus on the coat which itself describes the man. Very Seamus Heaney (eg My Father's Stick - I think that's the title!!). Just a few grammar points:

Should be "life's heavy cuffs", and "its bent shadow" and "off its peg" - definitely a Lynne Truss moment!!!

Very powerful piece.

:))

LoL

A
xxx

Montog at 12:21 on 28 February 2005  Report this post
Liked the aura given out by this,
Reminded me of my fathers coat in the cupboard after he had died, with the heavy smell of nicotine and old spice.

cheers
Montog




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