Login   Sign Up 


A Poem for the Pessimist.

by laurafraser 

Posted: 06 March 2005
Word Count: 188

Font Size

Printable Version
Print Double spaced

An apocalypse is coming
Everybody runs inside.
29 days later they venture outside
To find they’re still alive.
Discovering this, they go back to work,
7am to 7pm, wake, eat & sleep -
The thought gives me the creeps.

12 days after this a lamb appears & neighs,
Dogs start roaring & hamsters meowing:
The Comedy of Nature, Act I.
Later, normality is seen drowning in a bubble bath.
But no one is there to notice this tragi-commie farce.
In another Act, there are houses made of word-less books,
Leg-less tables & face-less clocks that hide from the sun with no rays.

Now a human with a heart & 2 eyes stands up
& vomits on the floor,
A robot zooms in,
Throws it all in the bin
Then retreats out of the door.

An apocalypse is coming
Everybody runs outside,
92 days later they knock inside
To find they’ve only just survived.
Discovering this, they go back to birth,
Month 1 straight to month 9,
Where existence no longer exists.

The stage curtain falls,
There’s an echo-less applause
And then we wonder
If we’ve lived at all.

Favourite this work Favourite This Author

Comments by other Members

roovacrag at 21:00 on 06 March 2005  Report this post

Enjoyed the whole of this.
Well written.

Great poem.

xx Alice


I do read all your poems. xx

laurafraser at 07:52 on 07 March 2005  Report this post
Thank-you Alice-and for reading my poems I am touched that you do.

Laura x

seanfarragher at 15:17 on 07 March 2005  Report this post
I agree with Alice. This is, as it is written, a fine poem, but it could be much more. Every day in the experience of the narrator (persona) could be represented and tension created between the various voices. TENSION. TIME COMPRESSED. All the workings of drama are part of the body of the poem.

Yes, I know you have created only one voice so far, but there could be a dialogue created that is more than images and music. Poetry is also ideas, and simply ending as you do is not an ending. You need to take us further. This is what I search to know. Now, when I say ideas I do not mean statements without imagery and lyric -- and when I say lyric I am mean the natural affirmation of speech as breath (Charles Olson) .... You have the capacity to dig deeper, find the root of the issues and then spin it off into an original concept. You can do this!!!!

I have a friend who tells me all the time when i write a poem that seems perfect, and it may be as far as that poem was intended to go, that I am too easy on myself, and that I rely on my ear too much and not kick out at the drive for substance.

Substance is Queen or King. Substance means knowing that poetry is the most important guide to the conscious and UNCONSCIOUS mind.

All the best,



Substance is also conscience!!

laurafraser at 16:08 on 07 March 2005  Report this post
I am inspired deeply by what yoou have written. I adore not only the way that you get to the root of a poem but your ability to then deliver a critique that pushes the writer to go further-thank-you.


seanfarragher at 18:23 on 07 March 2005  Report this post
Thanks. I appreciate the feedback. Now, write me a letter so I can make a poet friend in the UK. I appreciate, and I "adore" your honesty.


Beanie Baby at 09:04 on 08 March 2005  Report this post
Hi Laura.
I really like this. I love the imagery and the feeling of the whole piece. I think Sean is right about it having enormous possibilities. 'The Comedy Of Nature - Act 1' - I like it; it has its own resonance. Will there be more to this? Well-written and thought-provoking piece of work!
Beanie x

laurafraser at 20:59 on 08 March 2005  Report this post
thanks sean, letter coming-i promise

"enormous possibiliies..." really?! well will have aplay when get chance. I am glad that you like it,


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .