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The Rotation of Eggs And Planets

by seanfarragher 

Posted: 16 March 2005
Word Count: 119
Summary: Exercise for Poetry Seminar. I kept to the visual patern in first draft but then as the poem came together the line breaks changed.


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Rotation of Eggs Over Planets

Every egg wobbles unequally
towards equator when tropical depression
shears calm
over planet
declines
weather for winds
blew scared rabbits, us
outside hutch -- spears
fell No
one
dies invisible when your trails ends
under last rock skipped merrily over pond
your hands tremble nothing watched,
replaced minds dead on command
air strike called
friendly fire at
edge where skin blistered opened
to scar when soldiers
walked roads
teeter totter
vulnerable egg shell --
hoping none
cracks becomes crushed as the shell
set fire like smart bombs over Iraq smacked
with nursery rhymes unsettled violent
base ball bats and terror
will-full raw eggs rattled underneath crippled limbs with human bombs.







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Comments by other Members



Nell at 08:10 on 28 March 2005  Report this post
Sean,

I've only just found this poem. It's easy to miss exercises unless they're uploaded to the Seminar. I've read this five times now, but for me the clipped disjointed language makes it difficult to get into, and I couldn't grasp the central idea, as at the end the eggs seemed to represent something unfathomable. Doubtless some failing on my part. I don't think poems should of necessity be easy, yet for me this is just too inaccessible. There are strong images/ideas here - the wobble together with 'Planets' in the title hinting at precession; the wind blowing the rabbits outside; ...smacked with nursery rhymes... I'm not sure any of this will be of any use, you seem to tread your own path with supreme confidence.

Nell.

seanfarragher at 10:08 on 28 March 2005  Report this post
Thank You for your comments. Perhaps I will take it somewhere. Not sure.

It was fun doing the exercise, but you are right... I was playing with sounds and the line breaks rather than meaning. Perhaps, it is a way of giving birth to a poem that is inchoate .....

Sean


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