 Nell at 06:35 on 29 March 2005
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Hi joanie,
The rhythm and feel of this seem really familiar, yet nothing presents itself as the answer. I enjoyed this, especially '...and spin my band of gold...' - a wonderful image. Your poem could have been written a hundred or more years ago - that must be a clue too. Knowing you a little I'd guess that you have the metre exactly right - hopefully the old organic computer will come up with something today - unless someone else gets there first!
Nell.
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 joanie at 07:08 on 29 March 2005
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Hi Nell. You sent me racing back to the original - the metre is the same but the breaks - commas, etc. within the lines are not exact. Well over a hundred years ago - yes!
joanie
<Added>
I think the metre is the same!
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joanie at 16:26 on 29 March 2005
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Clue: first published about 1616, then a tune (with which the poem is probably better known) added around 1780.
joanie
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Nell at 17:44 on 29 March 2005
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Shakespeare, Marvell, Milton, Donne - there must be others but I can't think of them...
<Added>
Apparently not Marvell, as he wasn't born until 1621. Shakespeare died in 1616.
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Nell at 18:53 on 29 March 2005
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Ben Jonson?
<Added>
I thought it might be Drink to me Only, but noooooo....
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 tinyclanger at 19:16 on 29 March 2005
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These dates fit Ben Johnson, but I dont t know any of his poetry, just the plays....
Joanie, you tinker, got us in all-a-guessing!
x
tc
<Added>
Song to Celia?
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joanie at 19:19 on 29 March 2005
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Nell and tc... Yes, you're right! Nell, I'm really worried now. It IS 'Drink to me only' or 'Song: to Celia'. I'm worried about your 'nooooo...'!!
Well done!
joanie
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The Walrus at 19:44 on 29 March 2005
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As Paul says, a great stand alone piece Joanie. Wry and seamless.
Enjoyed.
Christina
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Nell at 20:00 on 29 March 2005
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Joanie, sorry, it does fit! The poem in my book ended at 'withered be...' so I thought it was too short. I found the version below though. Well done you!
Drink to me only with thine eyes,
And I will pledge with mine;
Or leave a kiss but in the cup,
And I'll not look for wine.
The thirst that from the soul doth rise
Doth ask a drink divine;
But might I of Jove's nectar sup,
I would not change for thine.
I sent thee late a rosy wreath,
Not so much honouring thee
As giving it a hope that there
It could not withered be.
But thou thereon did'st only breathe,
And sent'st it back to me,
Since when it grows and smells, I swear
Not of itself, but thee.
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fevvers at 14:22 on 08 April 2005
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Lovely Joanie, a lovely reply to the original.
Why are you worried about the metre? It's not the most common metre in English poetry; I'd say imabic pentameter is because it's closest to natural speech. This is an iambic tetrameter followed by an iambic trimeter isn't it?
Cheers
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joanie at 15:08 on 08 April 2005
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Thank you, fevvers. I'm only bothered about the metre because of the exercise we were doing; I was trying to get the same metre as the original.
Like I always say, I'm learning a lot on here!
Thanks for reading and responding.
joanie
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fevvers at 16:56 on 08 April 2005
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Joanie
I think you hold the metre well. The only thing I'd suggest you think about, metrically, is varying the metre a little. Variations add vibrancy to metre and takes a little away from the monotone a set metre can have. What's interesting about these poems is how the four-foot line is supported by the three-foot line. The three foot adds to the elevation of the metre - listen to how the line ascends. "Drink to me only with thine eyes, / And I will pledge with mine; "
I love metre, I wish I understood it better. It's great to see so much lovely writing in metre. Well done!
Cheers
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joanie at 17:57 on 08 April 2005
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Thanks again! I love metre too. Experimenting further with it would be good, I think.
joanie
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