 The Walrus at 09:22 on 30 March 2005
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This is really perceptive Joanie - I think alot of people experience a certain surrealness(?) in their everyday lives - where 'reality' is almost intangible and nothing seems to make sense/have meaning.
An insightful piece.
Christina
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Jabulani at 09:46 on 30 March 2005
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Yes I too can relate to this as I am sure can many others. It gets across that feeling of being defined by your roles and losing connection with yourself.
Mmmmm Thank goodness for writing, eh?
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paul53 [for I am he] at 10:21 on 30 March 2005
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Good stuff here, Joanie. Sets me wondering how many different people we are - how many different roles we play.
I quite fancy the Indian thing where, when you get to a certain age, you say: "Right, I've been a parent, spouse, employee. Now I'm off." And you leave it all and become wandering pilgrims in the evening of their lives.
Paul
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laurafraser at 10:41 on 30 March 2005
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i love the way that you have seperated mother daughter wife, it makes those words hit you like a series of bullets. "always doing the right thing...she grasps reality/ but her fingers necver touch" I find that line heart breaking. the poem reads very quickly and easily and the end is almost abrupt in its resoluteness which makes for very tender reading.
LAura.
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Mac AM at 10:48 on 30 March 2005
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This is quite an intriguing poem Joanie. At first I though it was about dementia, but realised it isn’t. I loved the idea that this woman is travelling through her life, almost untouched by anything substantial. You have definitely captured the disjoined life she lives.
Loved the final couplet. I also liked the dripping-tap effect of mother, wife daughter – as though she has been pre-programmed. I felt like she was an appliance – the washing machine, the microwave, the dishwasher.
Mac
<Added>
Forgot to add - the most interesting thing, is this seems self-inflicted, not imposed by someone else. Just not fully-engaged with the world.
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Ticonderoga at 13:17 on 30 March 2005
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Agree with all the compliments above; perceptive, involving, simply expressed. This one sings.
Best,
Mike
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 joanie at 14:41 on 30 March 2005
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Wow! Out for the morning and I return to all these comments. Many thanks, everybody! Much appreciated.
Christina - glad you thought it perceptive.
Jabulani - Yes, 'Thank Goodness for writing!'
Paul - I think I need to know more of that Indian thing.
Laura - I'm pleased you like the separated words.
Mac - Yes, I think I did want it to appear to be self-inflicted. You're right!
Mike - Thank you!
joanie
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roovacrag at 21:44 on 30 March 2005
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Joan.......oooooooooo not your usual poem.
Loved it.
Found the time to read a few and you are one of them.
Well done mate.
xxxxxxxxxxxx Alice joy
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Tina at 07:31 on 31 March 2005
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Just popping in here
I liked it too - felt like 'something new' to me.
Know the 'can't get a grip feeling'
enjoyed this
Thanks
Tina
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 James Graham at 10:55 on 31 March 2005
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I agree with all the compliments - this is a winner. You feel, reading it, that it has been one of those ideas that managed to go all the way from the first inspiration to written form without losing anything at all. In 'mother/wife/daughter' you've got exactly the right layout, making the form of the poem meaningful - the physical isolation of these words is ironic because the words themselves represent relationships, connections, but instead they ironically 'show' disconnection.
And is there anyone in WW, female or male, who doesn't know what you mean by
Thoughts
spin through space
never landing long enough
to make any sense. |
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?
They're spinning where I am too. They touch down occasionally but don't waste any time.
James.
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joanie at 12:08 on 31 March 2005
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Thank you, James, for your encouraging response. It is much appreciated!
joanie
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engldolph at 09:53 on 03 April 2005
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Hi Joanie,
I agree with the positives above.
There is a simple strength to this that immediately appeals.
The virtuality of roles/labels, made even more alienating by our desire for perfection, is a universal theme.
The lines:
Thoughts
spin through space
never landing long enough
to make any sense.
really grabbed me.. as did the falling words: mother, wife, daughter...
strong closing too.
good one!!
Mike
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joanie at 21:03 on 07 April 2005
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Thank you, Mike! Sorry, I have only just seen your reponse. Glad you enjoyed it.
Thanks for reading.
joanie
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lieslj at 05:34 on 09 April 2005
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Hi Joanie,
I found myself feeling quite overwhelmed with sadness at the tremendous sense of alienation and isolation that you express with great accuracy and skill.
Brava!
Liesl
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