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Remembering

by laurafraser 

Posted: 30 March 2005
Word Count: 250
Summary: This is an adapyed version of a poem I wrote a while ago under the title, Hermes and I. After having a look at it I decided to have a play and change the focus of it, (and title), Remembering I think can sometimes take you to paradise or to hellish gloom, but remembering that it is all in your mind can sometimes be hard to do when the pain is so physical. Also there is no intentional reference to the tsunami of 12/04.
Related Works: Hermes and I • 

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A million oceans swept past my door last night
As I shivered and called for Monsieur.
Remembering his mouth, his fingers and eyes
And the way I felt in his arms.

As if dancing on the moon with Thumbelina
Would make him see her, for the fairy that we knew she was.
Green serpents circled at her porcelain feet,
Their tongues twisting out of their small mouths,
Licking those baby like toes.

The waves pick me up and carry me further,
To a cupboard with nymphomaniac nuns,
Who giggling and shushing suck at a spliff
And with the glee of a child they point to their feet
For belching and burping are wart-encrusted toads,
Like portly gentleman smoking their pipes.

And lastly these oceans take me to a place I feel Iíve been before:
The lilac bedspreads and the china dolls,
The bread in the oven and the dogs in the sun.
I turn to my feet knowing what Iíll see:
A troll whispering to my toenails
Asking them to come dance with him.

Heíll scatter them like dew drops
And kiss them like fair maids,
Heíll stay with them forever,
Even when their colour fades
.

So I open the door and scream as it comes,
The tsunami I dreamt of last year
As it crushes my bones
I remember my fear,
I cry as I die, smile as I die, die as I cry
Remembering his mouth, his fingers and eyes
And the way I felt in his arms.






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Comments by other Members



Ticonderoga at 13:35 on 30 March 2005  Report this post
I'd remove 'they' from the third line of the third verse. Redundant and rhythm-hobbling, in my opinion. That's my sole adverse criticism! Pain, anger, resentment, emotional nostalgia. longing to escape, inability to escape, all come through in appropriately lucky-dip imagery. It's a confusing and horrible and essential place to be!


Best,

Mike

laurafraser at 17:46 on 30 March 2005  Report this post
Thank-you Mike and I agrre with you and will remove

Laura

The Walrus at 18:48 on 30 March 2005  Report this post
Agree with Mike's comment and would add that I always love the way you juxtapose(sorry) the magic of fairytale/childhood imaginings with seemingly vulgar/in-your-face images. It is quite a heady and I feel, unique, combination.

Another enjoyable and original piece Laura.

Christina

laurafraser at 15:38 on 31 March 2005  Report this post
Thank-you Christina,

"magic of fairytale....vulgar/in your face" oh how i love that description -if had a blurb would be pilaging that description!

XLAura

Beanie Baby at 20:10 on 31 March 2005  Report this post
Hi Laura.
This is a brilliant poem; full of anguish and confusion; all that pain touched by the balm of childhood memories. It was quite easy to slip from suffering to wonder just by reading from one line to the next. I adore poems that come from the deepest, densest, most sensitive part of the human psyche, and this poem surprasses even that.
Beanie.

laurafraser at 07:16 on 01 April 2005  Report this post
Beanie thankyou for youor brilliant comment

XLaura


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