my blood greases through somehow
so thick, fatty
clotted with you
and him

the loss - these ink-blue thoughts
of days alone and nights
with him and alone-
prowl shark-like
more terrifying for the ancient grin
and nightmares
have prehistory on their side

still i grin, having reasons
i grin for the afternoon
for the freshly-mown,
sun-baked and not caring
and for grinning's sake