Hi I am wondering where to put this post to ask for advice. If it is wrong, Can you please put it in the right section for me? Thanks.

I'm working on a fantasy story Can anyone help me please, as I am struggling with dialogue at the moment?

Robert Jones is a captain sent to work for the resistance in S.O.E in Marseilles, France. He is the commanding officer of the group and one of them is called Samantha who is a courier. The group have many adventures and then escape on a plane they hope is heading back to the UK, but crash land on an island where they are taken prisoner by women called the Kang.

Robert and Sam are kept prisoner together. Robert is force fed a drug in the hope he will attack Sam to kill her, but instead ends up making out (if you get what I mean) and she ends up being rescused by another Amazonian group where she realises she is carrying his child. The Kangs tell him she has been killed while trying to escape, to cover up the fact they messed up and she got away.

What I would like to know is how would he react to the news that she was still alive and pregnant?

I know it would probably be a scandal, seeing as it was WW2. I hope you didn't mind me asking this question (appologies for any offence). My story is going to be a cross between Xena, Lord of the Rings and Battle of Britain thrown in. I am basing my male character on George Chakiris facial appearence (if you don't know who he was he was in the 1964 movie 663 squadrone) My female character is based on female actress Judi Trott.

Any advice (within reason) would be most appreciated. Many thanks

Aura, I'm not sure anyone can really tell you that, because they're your characters and it's your story, and his reaction will grow out of that. You also don't mention how he learns this news, and who tells him, in what circs. These are all relevant questions.

If you're struggling with this particular conversation, you could post some suggestions of how he might react, and we can then let you know if we think they sound credible. However, far better than doing that in this forum would be for you to join one of the groups on WW, write a conversation which you think works for this purpose, and upload a piece of about 1000 words including the conversation so that others in the group can give you feedback properly.

Of course, it's only polite then to give feedback to them on what they have uploaded to the group.

Best wishes,

Deb

I'm afraid Debac is right, Aura, that it's a matter of writing it and then getting feedback from a reader to see if it sounds authentic.
However, as a trail member you can only upload one piece of work which you've done already, so it's not really possible to answer unless you become a full member and upload an extract for feedback in one of the Groups.
(Please don't post extracts in any of the Topic sections as it's liable to be deleted).



- NaomiM

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The group have many adventures and then escape on a plane they hope is heading back to the UK, but crash land on an island where they are taken prisoner by women called the Kang. Robert and Sam are kept prisoner together. Robert is force fed a drug in the hope he will attack Sam to kill her...

One thing I would advise, when plotting a novel, is to have a good reason for things happening to your main characters, rather than just throwing things (plot devices) at them to drive the plot forward.
eg, Why do they need to get back to the UK?
What makes the plane crash? - is it sabotage by someone who doesn't want them to get back to the UK?
Where have they crashed, is it in a logical place on the globe? If it's hidden, how will they be rescued in time to complete their mission in the UK?
...etc.

<Added>

Also why does Kang want Robert to kill Sam? It's not enough just to have an excuse to have a sex scene in the novel.

<Added>

...and all of that plotting would directly affect the dialogue between your characters.

Sorry I didn't mean to be a pain. I was going to write that he finds out by accident, but the story needs abit of work. Thanks for your input. How much does it cost to be a full member?

Hi Aura, the full membership fee is £35.00 I believe, so beg, steal or borrow the money it'll be the best £35.00 you'll ever spend.
Once you've done that, join a group and get going.
As simple as that..

Oh and it's 633 squadron, I hate to be picky, but that's me.
George Chakiris was also in West Side story.

Cheers,
Jim.

It's ok to ask, it's just that there are some questions which are difficult to answer without reference to the work itself.


Here's details of subscriptions to the Site - Community membership is £20 and gives oyu access to the writers Groups and forums.

http://www.writewords.org.uk/members/