Ok, I don't know what anyone else got up to in their lunch break, but I thought I'd share the terrible day I'm having as there's no one in the office to moan to. (aren't you lucky?)

So I tripped over the death trap of cables lurking underneath my desk and pulled out the connection between my keyboard and the computer. Out popped the metal connector from the cable and no amount of technical maintainance (i.e. pushing it really really hard) would get it to go back in. So I have no keyboard - not helpful.

Only option was to trek to the station and get the train to Victoria and find a branch of Dixons. So I've got the keyboard but I also need to replace the ink cartridge on the printer, and as our printer is clearly from another planet (and only masquerading as an Epson) neither Dixons, WHSmith or the printers across the road stock the cartridges.

But on getting the train back to Battersea, I found myself sitting across from an old man wearing a tweed jacket and flatcap. Naturally, when he spoke it was with a thick Yorkshire accent, though for some reason he managed to speak using only the movement of his lower lip. Clutching his copy of the Evening Standard, he mumbled away to me quite happily. I got the gist of his argument from the odd phrase as he railed against 'the bosses at the top', 'footballers' and 'MacDonalds, Tescos' (and probably every high st shop there is), claiming the money they earned was disgusting. He also mentioned lust, sex and filth and then made a point of repeating that he was British/English several times. I sat there and nodded sympathetically hoping he didn't need more of a response as I couldn't understand half of what he was saying.

Anyway, just thought I'd mention this strange encounter. I love it when you meet these characters who seem so out of place with their surroundings - he got off at Battersea too, leaving me wondering what the hell he was doing this far south. Random strangers who strike up these one sided conversations are always intriguing and at least this one took my mind off the damn computer for a few moments.

Anyone else had a weird conversation with a stranger?

Katie

My dad just told me he met a nice girl on the train, thanks for clearing that up.

Julie

Sounds like a short story exercise to me. Write the reason why this man was down in London, incorporate his conversation with Katie, and then why he got off at Battersea.

Probably trying to find weaponry to continue to war of the roses and was trying to decide what side you're on! Up the Lancastrians!

Katie, I live in Paris and often used to find myself in this situation except that they didn't realise I was foreign. Basically you nod and Mmm until they look at you sharply at which point you change the nod to a shake or you can go for the Indian head-wobbling option which covers all eventualities. As for the Yorkshireman he was probably on the way to the beeb for an audition for their latest regional sitcom... or you'll find yourself on one of those candid camera films tonight when you flop down on the sofa with a stiff whiskey and bag of maltesers, thankful that your strange day is over...

Don't know if my contribution constitutes as being 'weird' but it certainly was a little worrying.

Back when I was in college, I got on to the tube at Earls Court towards Wimbledon with my sister and a paper bag filled with McDonald chips and cheeseburger. I hadn't had a morsel to eat all day and was absolutely starving, this was something like 6 on a winter's evening. Feeling uncomfortable about eating on a jam-packed carriage without feeling the overwhelming need to offer everyone a piece (I'm very polite that way) of my ever cooling food I decided to carry the bag in my hand and salivate until I got off the train. The next stop, this very tall, unkempt, hirsute man carrying a tattered gym/sausage bag entered the carriage and stood right in front of me. From this bag protruded a some sort of large bat (not the animal kind but the wooden). He eyed me consistently in a very menacing way which made me extremely nervous. Very loudly he said to me...'Are you going to eat that food or not??' Everyone turned to look and watch my reply. I was too stunned to answer 'Well? Are you??' he boomed. I looked around the carriage for some sort of assistance but everyone looked down guiltily and avoided my eyes. I shook my head wordlessly and handed him over my beloved burger and chips. Suddenly, I had lost my apetite. Unlike me, he didn't seem to have any qualms about eating on trains and seemed to enjoy his free meal thoroughly. What did I learn from this? I learned that I should always hide my food in my bag so I'm not terrorised by hungry bat weilding homeless men.

THE END

Speaking of strange strangers, does anyone else keep getting those weird spam messages that try to convince you it would be a really good idea to send them your bank details to help them smuggle millions out of various African countries?

And what about the one about some new software that apparantly lets you access all the personal, confidential details of anyone in the States?

God knows why, but I get several of both each week. I just delete them, but it makes me wonder about the people who reply.

We get those! Always about usurped African familes and coups and stuff! Yep. Just money laundering and can get you into SERIOUS TROUBLE!

Don't worry, I wasn't about to sign up! Just found them bizarre. Although if you ever want to know someone's social security number or whether or not they have health insurance, I can tell you where to go....

Bah, eck, us Tykes are allowed outa Yorkshire, tha knows!
We dun't even need ower passports, reckoned reet civilised some o'us are. Yon gimmer was probably nobbut an awld lad, far from t'home fetchin a bit'o a natter. Tha knows, its reet odd, but ower yam, folks talks to each other! Aye, even folks as 'ave never met afore....

x
tc
(One of the few NOT signed up to do a BBC regional sitcom....or at least, not yet! )

Don't give up the day job, TC!

Dear oh dear! Did not mean to imply that those from Yorkshire should not be allowed south of Birmingham. In fact I think more men looking like classic Yorkshire farmers should be encouraged to roam public transport around London, instigating random discussions about the state of the nation. Might take our minds off the delays....

Ah Dee, I'm just out of practice, that's all. A few sheep, (does that sound rude or is it just my mind?, and a pint or two of Sam Smith's and it'll all come back to me.

Elspeth - wasn't being serious!

Public transport IS an excellent place for inspiration. I tend to stare at interesting-looking people far too much and find myself inventing their lives.
I do it in pubs and restaurants too, especailly when I can pick up snatches of conversation, then I proceed to weave a wild web about what might be going on..probably much better than reality. I feel, as a writer, I am justified in doing this. Important research..could be that I'm just bloody nosey, though!


tc

Going back a couple of steps if I may: those Nigerian/ African emails asking for assistance are after one thing and one thing only - your bank details, including - would you believe it - passwords and PIN numbers. And it's surprising how many people have handed these over for the promise of a couple of million pounds/dollars/whatever!! Very dangerous!!
You don't need to be told this, DON'T!!
John