One of my Dad's expressions: The lift doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
L
He's got mince for brains.
He's not the sharpest tool in the box
He's a space cadet
He's aa satellite pilot
The lights are on, but nobody's home
He's off with the fairies
He lives in la la land
He's on another planet
Thick as shit
Thick as two short planks
He's George Bush, he's Tony Blair, he's moved in next door, he's come to borrow some sugar, he's unblocking your sink, he's quite a nice chap really, he has issues, he sees you as an inspiration, he's got a job in advertising, he's the shadow chancellor at the age of 33.
Sorry, the George Bush/Tony Blair line was really quite offensive.
He ( Notice they are all he )
He can't ride a bike and chew gum at the same time.
He's not the wisest owl in the barn.
A grumpy bus driver once said, to, ahem, me (!) 'If you had fifty per cent more brains, you'd be a cabbage'
Can't remember why now. Think he almost mowed me down and it was technically my fault!
He's not the wisest owl in the barn. |
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What did we call Barn Owls before we had barns?
"If he was twice as smart as he is now he'd still only be a half-wit"
-Groucho Marx (or near enough)
Geoff
one of my favourites, "He makes two short planks look like a computer"
How about, "he's as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike"
He was not at the front of the queue when the brains were being handed out.
(Possibly P G Wodehouse)
Chris
When God was giving out brains, he thought he said 'trains' and asked for a slow one.
As useful as a chocolate frying pan.
etc