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andinadia



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Member Since: 28 June 2013
Last visited: 28 May 2018
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User Name andinadia
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Latest Work

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`Ping pang!` or `The Panguin` by andinadia Word Count: 482
15  Comments

This was fun to write, and I think it would be fun as a readaloud, with the reader giving their own expression to the nonsense words! It's only a draft and all comments - however structural - are well received. I'm not sure whether to give the first two penguins names, or maybe describe in some other way than 'the first penguin' and 'the second penguin'. There are 2 options for the title. I haven't finished off the art brief yet. 
18 Jan 2015

Aepyornis Ch11 - first draft by andinadia Word Count: 1483
9  Comments

For those who've been counting, I haven't moved the scene with the policemen for the third time! But I have moved the scene with the ferryman. (Thankyou, Annie.) I also decided not to mention the name of Harty until this chapter (it had been mentioned in an earlier chapter). We're at about the half-way point of the story now, I think. 
1 Sep 2013

Aepyornis Ch12 - first half, draft by andinadia Word Count: 915
7  Comments

Now the girls start out on the quest... This is only half the chapter but I wanted to get reactions before completing it. (Moving two 12-year-old girls around Victorian England is a narrative challenge!) Is the narrative device convincing, and is the gang of boys convincing? 
8 Sep 2013

Aepyornis Ch13 - first draft by andinadia Word Count: 1179
3  Comments

This was going to be part of Ch12 but developed its own life. It has the format of other chapters in this phase of the story, with a plotline following Alice and a sub-plot following Aman-tanay. I've struggled a bit with this chapter - hence the hiatus - and I'm aware that even at this stage, I'm still introducing secondary characters. I don't feel it holds together yet and would love some blunt comments. On the other hand, the ending of the story is becoming a bit clearer now! 
24 Oct 2013

Aepyornis Ch3 redraft by andinadia Word Count: 1388
13  Comments

I've cut this chapter back a bit (thanks, Annie) and removed a character. I hope it's tighter now. Would love feedback. 
6 Jul 2013

Aepyornis Ch4 First draft by andinadia Word Count: 1596
9  Comments

As much feedback as possible would be very welcome. This is where the action begins to heat up, and where we first meet the ... well, read on! 
10 Jul 2013

Aepyornis Ch5 First draft by andinadia Word Count: 1868
8  Comments

This is a quieter chapter than the last one. I'd love to know, especially from those who read the previous chapter, how it comes across. Bartleby is probably the last character that will be introduced into the story (but the story is developing more organically than I expected!) All comments are welcome. I've made lots of notes from earlier comments but I've decided not to revisit earlier chapters until I've finished the first draft. 
27 Jul 2013

Aepyornis Ch6 First draft by andinadia Word Count: 841
7  Comments

Another 'quietish' chapter, shorter this time. I hadn't planned this one but I was thinking about earlier comments that we need to see more of Alice and the governess' relationship. As usual, all comments very welcome, even if you haven't commented on the earlier chapters yet! I think I need something else in there to justify the governess' remark about Alice's mother being proud - but I haven't thought of it yet! Does it still read like a possible 9+? 
3 Aug 2013

Aepyornis Ch7 - second draft by andinadia Word Count: 1210
6  Comments

After some very useful comments (thankyou!) I've reframed this chapter. I've also repositioned the moment of the police arriving, to ask about Aman-tanay. It's probably the last 'domestic' chapter before the story accelerates. I'm trying to bring out the relationship between Alice and family members, including Miss Simpson. (When I revise, I'll add some more background about Alice's mother, in Ch6.) Thinking about possible titles now... 'Flightless'? 
18 Aug 2013

Aepyornis Chs8-10 - first draft by andinadia Word Count: 1335
5  Comments

Re-uploaded this after a bit of tinkering. I still think it needs expanding but I'm not sure where. Do the place and time shifts work clearly? Also, I keep moving the moment where the police arrive. I think it's found it's proper home in this chapter. The main thing is to stop Jacob from moving around for a while, as well as to show how far Zachary and Caine's 'tentacles' have reached 
25 Aug 2013

Being Grandad by andinadia Word Count: 193
0  Comments

Ch1 of the expanded version. I aim to finish it within a week. It's not a fair challenge for any comers, as I'm converting a story that was already mapped out. But maybe someone might join me the following week, when I might write a second story based on the same characters, or something new. Wordcount: 6000-9000. This first chapter is 191 words, so that means 30+ chapters - far too many, so I'll need to put more into each chapter! (Or do you think this length works as an opener?) 
17 Jul 2015

Being Grandad by andinadia Word Count: 193
0  Comments

Ch1 of expanded version. I aim to finish it within a week. It's not a fair challenge for any comers, as I'm just converting a pb. But maybe someone might join me the following week, when I might write a second story based on the same characters, or something new. Wordcount: 6000-9000. This first chapter is 191 words, so that means 30+ chapters - far too many, so I'll need to put more into each chapter! (Or do you think this length works as an opener?) 
17 Jul 2015

Being Grandad - Chapter book version by andinadia Word Count: 193
16  Comments

Ch1 of expanded version. I aim to finish it within a week. It's not a fair challenge for any comers, as I'm just converting a pb. But maybe someone might join me the following week, when I might write a second story based on the same characters, or something new. Wordcount: 6000-9000. This first chapter is 191 words, so that means 30+ chapters - far too many, so I'll need to put more into each chapter! (Or do you think this length works as an opener?)  
17 Jul 2015

Being Granddad by andinadia Word Count: 1309
5  Comments

Here it is, the first complete draft. It lost a bit of the original surrealism and turned into a more transparent (but not completely) social commentary on ageing and generations. It's a picture book for slightly older children, maybe like some of Anthony Browne's socially geared books although the artwork would probably need to be more naturalistic. 
12 Jan 2015

Chris the Bird by andinadia Word Count: 1184
5  Comments

This started out as a response to Annie's challenge! It went through huge changes, starting out in rhyme (which rattled around my head to the tune of an old Robin Hood children's TV show theme music) and with the bird as an actual bird, before - through a random and delicious process - taking its final form. (a/w = artwork) 
4 Jan 2015

Close Your Eyes by andinadia Word Count: 787
10  Comments

Ok this one could divide opinions. It's nothing like I imagined when I started it. More than a little reference to Where the Wild Things Are, but I wanted to push the surreal even further. I'm not very sure of it myself! I see the 'large shapes' as ever-present in the outdoor scenes, but indistinct. The 'small shapes' are the mini-equivalents of the large shapes. (The shapes help make things happen.) 
10 Feb 2015

The Legend of Lotfiya by andinadia Word Count: 2120
3  Comments

This is a slightly extended picture book for readers aged 7+, first published in Egypt a while ago. Anyone who has visited Cairo might recognise the setting (now called the Gayer Anderson house). The story is a reworking of some legends merged together. Annie, I'll post another couple more oldies, but I'm working on a newie too! 
17 Dec 2014

The memory of gran (working title) by andinadia Word Count: 381
4  Comments

Outline draft. Meant to be fantasy where Lizzie and Gran switched minds, but still a little 'supernatural'? I'd love to know (a) if you think story is interesting, (b) if you think it's appropriate for a p/b, (c) great ideas for the ending! Background: Lizzie is 5-6 and lives with parents and older twins. Dad is away on this day. It's the day they’re going to take the gran (mum’s mother or maybe grandmother?) to see a doctor or to a home. Gran lives not far away. 
8 Jan 2015

The water melon by andinadia Word Count: 380
8  Comments

This is a Cairo story too. It's a very short (24 page!) picture book. Large green water melons are a feature of summer in Egypt, but they need to be served very chilled and have usually been cut up into chunks before serving on a communal plate. (It was published in Arabic.) 
22 Dec 2014

Whose Story Is This? by andinadia Word Count: 200
6  Comments

It might look like cheating (!), but the idea of this story is that stories can be collaborations, so I thought I'd throw it out there. I'm at the very rough stage, but I thought I'd post the first draft spreads and see what you think and where you think it might be going. I'm trying to keep to the language and storytelling styles of young children. I hope that comes across. I'm also trying to experiment with the book format, which will need good artwork! 
2 Mar 2015

Whose Story Is This? by andinadia Word Count: 990
11  Comments

This is in the same vein as the previous rather surreal one. What I'm trying to do is capture the occasional randomness of children's story-telling, while keeping an overall narrative framework. It's also trying to show how stories are often created jointly, even randomly jointly. If published, the cover might show the word 'is' in larger/capital letters, to indicate how the question is being asked (i.e. in exasperation!) 
13 Mar 2015

Wolf Hut (or `What Happened When the Three Little Pigs got Bigger`) by andinadia Word Count: 270
7  Comments

Wolf Hut is my name for an actual wonderful cafe in the park where I live, which is a converted changing hut with exterior walls painted with Tudor portraits! The title has a sub-title (not an alternative title!) 
4 Apr 2015

Wolf Hut - complete draft by andinadia Word Count: 955
8  Comments

Well, this is how it turned out. I hope the intriguingness of the opening has survived, even if it may have lost some of its Pinteresque ambitions! 
16 Apr 2015

Wolf Hut - latest draft by andinadia Word Count: 349
8  Comments

This is still a work in progress. I hope you don't mind watching it emerge like this. Anyway the group has been a bit quiet the past few days. I think the story is losing its Pinteresqueness (probably not a bad thing!). What I'm not sure of is whether it's a potentially engaging pb narrative. 
9 Apr 2015



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