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Member Since: 22 December 2006
Last visited: 14 May 2008
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User Name hannahjane

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For Milk (different version) by hannahjane Word Count: 2500
1  Comment

This is a longer, different version of the last thing I posted, but it's not a revised version, just an old different one. Again, it's a little shoddy in terms of punctuation and fine-tuned sentence structure, because I wanted an overall reaction before going over it in detail. However, this start does have something to follow, so if it's generally ok, I'd like to revise it properly. Thanks! 
14 Jan 2007

For Milk - (Um, nothing to do with milk, really. Please look!) by hannahjane Word Count: 953

This is the first thing I've ever posted. I'm really just after a general opinion as to whether it's awful or ok. I'm playing with it as the beginning of a novel, but am not sure whether to go with something action-based instead (which has also been written). To be honest I am befuddled. Thanks for looking, I appreciate it! 
22 Dec 2006

Mervyn by hannahjane Word Count: 1514

I've finally realised that going over and over work, trying to improve it and decipher what's wrong all by yourself is a bit like trying to play a one man game of tennis! I have so many different versions of this extract, it would be fantastic if I had some feedback on this particular one to get some pointers on how it is/what works. (I should have done this a long time ago!). Thanks. 
4 Apr 2007

The Letter by hannahjane Word Count: 1994

An introduction to the character of Mervyn. 
11 May 2007

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