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Member Since: 08 January 2004
Last visited: 07 November 2022
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Name Mike Lewis
User Name Mickey
Specialism Poetry
Groups Poetry Writers Group   Flash Poetry  
Location South East
Interests Writing silly verse!
Profile I’ve just realised my profile was 12 years old – so here’s an update (I’ve even added a photo!) I’m not a poet – I merely write comical verse. I’m afraid that I don’t understand real poetry and am reluctant to comment on others’ work as a result. My preference is for humorous verse and I admire the work of Philip Larkin, Roger McGough, and Wendy Cope. My favourite poet however (and the only one I regularly re-read) is John Betjeman

Latest Work

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A Beautiful Woman by Mickey Word Count: 250

15 Oct 2008

A Few More by Mickey Word Count: 160

I hope you guys don’t mind me posting these in batches? They’re insignificant on their own but I hope they can amuse you when read together 
13 Oct 2017

A Misspent Youth by Mickey Word Count: 84

I haven’t written anything for over a year, but I’ve just discovered an old disc on which I have found pieces that even I had forgotten about! 
27 Apr 2015

A Moment Of Panic by Mickey Word Count: 160

20 Mar 2007

A Visit From The Jehovah`s Witnesses by Mickey Word Count: 94

I haven’t written much lately so here is one I prepared earlier. I remember that the last time I posted this, I received a comment from a JW who took it in good part luckily. Absolutely no offence meant to any others who might read it (honest!) 
2 Jul 2008

After Sales Snagging by Mickey Word Count: 222

28 Jul 2010

An Cynic’s View Of Global Warming by Mickey Word Count: 177

1 May 2007

An Open Letter To The British Government by Mickey Word Count: 301

I just kind of felt ‘compelled’ to write this (someone had to). As a poem I am pleased that I have managed to maintain fourteen syllables to each line – does that constitute any particular poetic ‘form’? 
8 Aug 2008

Another Batch of Beat by Mickey Word Count: 110

Please bear with me while I explore this style (“It will pass away soon enough” to quote Mr Bennet!) 
11 Oct 2017

Apreeshythanks by Mickey Word Count: 70

Inspired by the late 'Professor' Stanley Unwin 
25 Aug 2017

Autumn Term by Mickey Word Count: 117

A nostalgic mixture of school memories and Jennings and Darbyshire! I don't suppose it's like this anymore? 
19 Feb 2009

Banking On You by Mickey Word Count: 114

James has said that he finds it hard to see poetry in financial transactions and that banking is too prosaic. But the whole world of finance is littered with double-entendres (or should that be ‘double entries’ – a double-entendre in its own right!) How about this then. The ‘guilt’ in guilt-edged is intentional by the way  
9 Aug 2017

Best in Show by Mickey Word Count: 76
1  Comment

22 Jul 2014

Betjeman and Cromer Pier by Mickey Word Count: 135

Cromer v Trebetherick 
14 Oct 2018

Brexit Negotiations by Mickey Word Count: 179

If I were leading the British negotiating team! 
30 Jun 2017

Brighton 24/365 by Mickey Word Count: 190

The title of this poem and the time slots are intended to show that, at different times throughout the day and on any day of the week, someone will always have a reason to be sampling the unique and exotic delights of Brighton 
10 Aug 2010

Brighton`s West Pier by Mickey Word Count: 100

6 Oct 2017

Britishness by Mickey Word Count: 113

The reported Government plan to include ‘Britishness’ in the National Curriculum for schools, prompted me to re-post this piece which I wrote last year when tests were being proposed for applicants for British Citizenship. I thought at the time that the following essentials would assist in focussing the mind and it can now be smuggled into the exam room as a crib sheet! 
10 Apr 2007

Challenge 392 by Mickey Word Count: 94

A couple on the subject of 'taste' for Jennifer's prompt 
24 Sep 2017

Charles Robert Ashbee and the Guild of Handicrafts by Mickey Word Count: 214

C R Ashbee (1863-1942) set up a kind of workers’ co-operative whose aims were to elevate the status and independence of the craftsman. Established in the East End of London in 1888, his Guild of Handicraft moved at the turn of the last century to Chipping Campden, ‘a little Cotswold town that industrialism had never touched’ 
6 Jun 2007

Cheese Pot-Noodle by Mickey Word Count: 90

8 Oct 2016

Chick Chat by Mickey Word Count: 104

28 Jan 2008

Civic Pride by Mickey Word Count: 112

I like the idea of rubbish-shaped holes in the pond (This is in response to Alan's challenge in Flash Poetry) 
10 Oct 2016

Classroom Tactics For The PC-Inhibited Teacher by Mickey Word Count: 118

Some friends in the Poetry Seminar were discussing writing a poem based upon a current news item. This isn’t exactly based on such a piece, but is offered as an alternative strategy to the idea reported in the weekend press, that school detentions should better reflect the nature of the misdemeanour (see evildetentions.co.uk) I've sent a copy to both the NUT and the NASUWT 
8 May 2006

Climax by Mickey Word Count: 97

And now for something completely different! 
30 Jan 2017

Clive by Mickey Word Count: 92

16 Jan 2017

Colonel Sanders` Lightbulb Moment by Mickey Word Count: 28
1  Comment

3 Feb 2017

Colour Sense by Mickey Word Count: 166

A comment on the pretentious descriptions for colours dreamt up by the fashion industry to sell more clothes I wrote this a while ago but I don't think I ever uploaded it  
4 Jun 2014

Cup Cakes by Mickey Word Count: 47

30 Jan 2019

Daffy Deals by Mickey Word Count: 291

I wrote this during the pre-Christmas Sales so its probably a bit irrelevant now! 
9 Jan 2009

Dance With Me by Mickey Word Count: 168
1  Comment

19 Apr 2007

Dappled Light by Mickey Word Count: 128

Never give up on a good idea! Here is a more considered attempt at a poem in the style of John Betjeman 
18 Oct 2018

Dealing With Rejection by Mickey Word Count: 66

My letter to the BBC entitled ‘Points of View’ which I posted a while back seemed to amuse a number of fellow members. Here is another letter, this time to an unconvinced publisher (I actually sent this I seem to remember…although it didn’t change his opinion!) 
24 Oct 2007

Death and Regret in the New Forest by Mickey Word Count: 50

5 Mar 2013

Disco Dan by Mickey Word Count: 107

8 Jul 2017

Dobson`s Travelling Fair by Mickey Word Count: 642

16 Jul 2008

Don’t Sign Me Up by Mickey Word Count: 135

An imagined letter from Robert Edwin Peary to his pushy mother 
5 Oct 2018

Dorothy’s Three Year Warranty by Mickey Word Count: 155

29 Oct 2007

Emptying a Dyson by Mickey Word Count: 214

Hot off the press! I have literally just written this after thinking how messy the accumulated muck in my Dyson looks through the clear dust container 
24 Aug 2017

Fairy Rings and Angel Wings by Mickey Word Count: 286

I wrote this a while back (not from personal experience I might add). The only trouble I have is that I can't read it without dropping into the rhythm of the Beach Boys 'Disney Girls' 
28 Sep 2018

Fairy Tale by Mickey Word Count: 113

15 Jul 2018

Flies by Mickey Word Count: 72

24 Jan 2008

Flight 609 by Mickey Word Count: 76

3 Feb 2008

Football Haiku by Mickey Word Count: 90

This is new to me – do they qualify as Haiku? 
3 Oct 2016

Forward Slash by Mickey Word Count: 119

I haven’t written much for a while, so I thought I’d stick this old one on – apologies to those of you who have already seen it! 
28 Jun 2006

Geometric Sam by Mickey Word Count: 294

A pataphysical poem (with apologies to Lennon & McCartney) 
29 Jan 2019

Grass Roots Economy Football by Mickey Word Count: 90

I never thought of combining poetry with football (thank you Jane) but, as my last effort was received favourably, I knocked this one out this morning before I got up. Hope you like it 
2 Oct 2016

Growing Old On The M25 by Mickey Word Count: 163

Listening to early 60s surfing music whilst stuck in a traffic jam is probably not such a good idea as it tends to highlight and contrast youthful dreams with middle-aged reality  
17 Apr 2007

Heavenly Twins by Mickey Word Count: 152

This is a revised version of something I wrote a while ago after reading some of the metaphysical poets of the 17th century 
25 Sep 2017

Henry`s Half Dozen by Mickey Word Count: 265

Hi All My internet connection’s been down for a couple of weeks but I’m now back. I wrote this poem first and added the wives’ names afterwards, so I know the lines/verse breakdown is a bit erratic  
2 Nov 2017

Immigration Blues by Mickey Word Count: 65

18 Jun 2014

In Love With An Angel (a song lyric) by Mickey Word Count: 223
1  Comment

Another attempt at an alternative song lyric – to be sung to the tune of ‘Don’t Let Her Know She’s An Angel’ by Brian Wilson (again from his 'Getting In Over My Head' CD) I was using the idea of comparing the wax-and-feather wings of Icarus with the wings of an angel, as a metaphor for differing expectations within a relationship 
16 May 2006

Jalopy by Mickey Word Count: 205

Contrary to what I’ve said before about ‘knocking out’ a poem quickly, I’ve tried for years to get this one to work. I’ve tried different formats and line breaks but this seems to be the nearest I can get to the irrational emotional panic that I am trying to convey. I am probably trying to get a too sophisticated and structured rhyming scheme into it than I am capable of, and I should have dumped it ages ago, but I was pleased with the storyline (if that makes sense?) 
4 Sep 2017

Jane`s Challenge 368 by Mickey Word Count: 161

Here are two oldies that I have dredged from the archive. I posted them years ago in the Poetry Group. The first poem is entitled ‘Points of View’ and is a letter in verse to the BBC programme of the same name, and the second is another rhyming letter I actually sent to an unconvinced publisher…although it didn’t change his opinion! It's called ‘Dealing with Rejection’ 
9 Feb 2017

Jersey Boys by Mickey Word Count: 124

A homage presented in response to Jennifer’s challenge 389 
30 Aug 2017

Jim`ll Fix It by Mickey Word Count: 99

24 Jul 2017

Lancelot and Guinevere by Mickey Word Count: 81

12 Mar 2010

Landscape Leonardo by Mickey Word Count: 131
1  Comment

Dedicated to, and inspired by, those blokes who drive around in muddy Toyota pick-up trucks with 'No Job Too Small' emblazoned on the side. 
29 Mar 2007

Last Day at the Office by Mickey Word Count: 190

I came across a book called ‘The Poetry of Business Life’ today and was inspired to relate the tale of my own last day at the office. Incidentally, look up ‘What the Chairman Told Tom’ by Basil Bunting – its brilliant! 
9 Aug 2019

Level Crossing Nostalgia by Mickey Word Count: 121

There’s 2 rail crossings in my home town. One was operated by a signalman turning a huge handwheel, who would wave motorists through with a smile, the other was opened by a resident gatekeeper living in a little cottage with an immaculate tiny garden. Now both are automatic, far more pedestrians/drivers can be frustrated far longer than ever dreamt of before - and with no one to blame! Brilliant isn’t it? Here’s my salute to the gatekeepers, combining happy memories of both crossings:  
4 Jun 2007

Life in the Fast Lane by Mickey Word Count: 205

My last posting was copying John Lennon’s idea of producing a coherent poem from elements of a poster. This is another personal challenge inspired by the Sgt.Pepper album, this time to compose a poem based on a newspaper article. 
5 Jul 2017

Living In Dreams (a song lyric) by Mickey Word Count: 483

An attempt at song lyrics 
9 Feb 2005

Love and Money by Mickey Word Count: 191

These are my latest two written last week 
21 Nov 2017

Making Love To Me (a song lyric) by Mickey Word Count: 194

This one hasn’t got a tune (other than in my head) It is a lyric that I have written without the benefit of it being based on an existing song! 
18 May 2006

Modern Britain by Mickey Word Count: 205

I knocked these three out a few weeks ago while feeling a bit cheesed off with modern society (I usually am!) Sorry they're all a bit political again 
28 Nov 2018

Much of the Same by Mickey Word Count: 103

19 Oct 2017

Mutton Dressed As Lamb by Mickey Word Count: 120

22 May 2008

Night Ends Too Fast by Mickey Word Count: 160

In response to Jane’s observation that I should write ‘moody’ and ‘serious’ more often, here is an oldie written several years ago before cynicism set in! 
5 Aug 2017

Nothing in particular by Mickey Word Count: 45

For Oonah's challenge 
17 Jul 2018

Observation on a Streetwalker by Mickey Word Count: 123

1 Jun 2010

Ogden Nash by Mickey Word Count: 43

19 Feb 2008

One Ain’t Nothing But A Hound Dog by Mickey Word Count: 242

Burgess Hill is about 7 miles north of Brighton and, each year they hold a Summer Festival which includes a separately run poetry competition. One of the themes in 2004 was ‘The day the Queen came to Burgess Hill’ I submitted the following poem, but was disappointed when the organizer asked me to change the title which she considered irreverent to HM. I declined to accept her censorship and she in turn declined to accept my entry. 
11 May 2006

Palais Politics by Mickey Word Count: 249

Game plan on the dance floor 
6 Feb 2008

Pam Ayres by Mickey Word Count: 39

An envious rictameter 
12 Oct 2018

Panic Attack In Paris by Mickey Word Count: 246

30 May 2006

Peckham 1954 by Mickey Word Count: 1067

One of my favourite poets is the late Sir John Betjeman whose blank verse autobiography ‘Summoned by Bells’ I have on a cassette read by the author. I’ve never seen this poem ‘in the flesh’ as it were but I love his reading of it. I thought that I would try a mini version about my life in London as a child. I’m not sure if I have succeeded however, as I seem to lapse into rhyme throughout. As this is such a departure from my normal stuff, your comments would be especially appreciated 
2 May 2008

Points Of View by Mickey Word Count: 90

A letter to the BBC 
24 Sep 2004

Pondering Glastonbury by Mickey Word Count: 42

Haikus seem to be popular for Jennifer's music challenge, so here is my attempt (should they be centred?) 
3 Sep 2017

Proof That Parrots Don’t Believe In God by Mickey Word Count: 147

Another of my 'animal' poems. This is actually semi-serious. If you were an animal would you expect your God to look like you ... or the bloke who feeds you? 
17 Apr 2006

Rest In Peace by Mickey Word Count: 92

29 Jun 2007

Ron`s challenge 390 by Mickey Word Count: 56

A couple of entries for Ron's one-liner challenge 
5 Sep 2017

Royal Male by Mickey Word Count: 120
1  Comment

Another silly piece 
4 Oct 2016

Rush Hour Incident by Mickey Word Count: 182

21 Feb 2008

Sacred Geometry in the Bathroom by Mickey Word Count: 308

Mathematical musings - I think I've posted this one before so I apologise to anyone who has already seen it 
5 Apr 2007

Santa Claus by Mickey Word Count: 213

3 Dec 2004

Sardine Loves Kipper (True!!) by Mickey Word Count: 166
1  Comment

I might have posted this before. it's a slight re-working of 'one I prepared earlier' 
12 Apr 2007

Scarecrow Poems by Mickey Word Count: 317

These two poems are in response to a personal challenge set by James and Michael to write a humorous piece about a scarecrow modelled on Michael’s translation of Careme’s 
11 Oct 2018

Skinny Dipper by Mickey Word Count: 563

This story is absolutely true and happened to me in 1974 
23 Sep 2016

Slum Clearance by Mickey Word Count: 587

18 Jun 2017

Smile And Face The World (a song lyric) by Mickey Word Count: 214

This is an old song lyric of mine that I’ve re-worked to be sung to the tune of ‘I’m Waiting For The Day’ from the Beach Boys’ ‘Pet Sounds’ album  
30 Jan 2008

Social Tedia by Mickey Word Count: 132

17 Sep 2017

Socks Appeal by Mickey Word Count: 267

Two poems about socks. I hope posting two together won't matter, but they seemed to go together (like a pair!) 
28 Oct 2008

Star Potential by Mickey Word Count: 79

Hope this works - it looks quite good 'centred' but we can't do that here 
23 Aug 2017

Steam Communication with Boulogne by Mickey Word Count: 220

I’ve just got back from Sunday lunch at the historic Mermaid Inn at Rye. I photographed an early Victorian advertising poster they have framed and hanging on the wall there, and have attempted a ‘For The Benefit of Mr.Kite’ – type poem based on its contents 
2 Jul 2017

Take Five–7–7 by Mickey Word Count: 31

It’s not a Mondo but at least the syllable count’s right! Perhaps this is a ‘Beat-Mondo’? 
11 Sep 2018

Tea And Tarts by Mickey Word Count: 138

Sadly true 
27 Apr 2007

The Al-Fresco Author by Mickey Word Count: 62

22 Jul 2010

The Annual Boys Mob Race by Mickey Word Count: 279

Every year my old school hold a reunion at which they have a kind of ‘memory board’ with all the same old photos on display. For this year’s event (in November) I decided to submit the following poem along with a suitable clip art illustration. It’s a pity we can’t add illustrations here on WW as the Publisher piece I sent to the reunion organiser looks quite impressive. 
27 Sep 2016

The bald Bard’s solution by Mickey Word Count: 68

1 Jul 2018

The Birthday Girl by Mickey Word Count: 241
1  Comment

This poem was inspired by the story of Melita Norwood. Her Times obituary in 2005 reported that she ‘…lived in complete obscurity…and was known to her friends as a “lovely old lady” who produced homemade jam. Yet Norwood was one of the Soviet Union’s longest serving spies and the most important British female agent to be recruited by the KGB’ 
22 Mar 2007

The Committee by Mickey Word Count: 268

Written in frustration with the apathy of club committee members with no vision, and dedicated to big fish in tiny pools everywhere 
25 Apr 2007

The Cubs by Mickey Word Count: 292

This was inspired by reading something about the Cubs by John Hegley over Christmas 
3 Jan 2008

The Date by Mickey Word Count: 109

29 Jul 2018

The Decline of the CoE by Mickey Word Count: 129

12 Feb 2009

The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street by Mickey Word Count: 193

9 Jul 2008

The English Summer by Mickey Word Count: 67

1 Aug 2017

The Epiglottis by Mickey Word Count: 123
1  Comment

3 Sep 2008

The Epiphany of Peter by Mickey Word Count: 420
1  Comment

Something a bit more serious - and not a rhyme in sight! 
22 Mar 2010

The Evening Class by Mickey Word Count: 108

21 May 2010

The Hard Sell by Mickey Word Count: 217

8 Sep 2008

The Hippopotamus by Mickey Word Count: 188

For Jo's challenge 
3 Jul 2018

The Hotel Room by Mickey Word Count: 59

22 Oct 2007

The Infidelities Of Janet The Gannet by Mickey Word Count: 538

Another piece that I have been reminded of by a recent item in the national press 
20 May 2006

The Knowledge by Mickey Word Count: 74

15 Sep 2018

The Lark And The Lion by Mickey Word Count: 212

And now for something entirely different! 
1 Feb 2008

The Last Leaf by Mickey Word Count: 214

15 Aug 2018

The Magician’s Assistant by Mickey Word Count: 190

12 Aug 2018

The New Head by Mickey Word Count: 130

This one's for James. I've posted it here in Flash Poetry because I just wrote it straight off. Is that what 'flash poetry' means? 
31 Jan 2017

The Nimby by Mickey Word Count: 345

I was in development all my working life and was always amused by the universality of objection from Sussex to Inverness. I reckon there's a 'How To Object To Development' handbook out there somewhere!! 
21 Jan 2017

The Offside Rule by Mickey Word Count: 98

I am a trustee of Haywards Heath Town FC and, this year was considering including a fortnightly poem in each home game match day programme under the general heading of ‘The Half Time Rhyme’ I thought I ought to at least include one piece about the beautiful game 
30 Sep 2016

The Pickled Onion On The Buffet Plate by Mickey Word Count: 201

Totally Unsummarisable! 
28 Sep 2004

The Poetry Brothel by Mickey Word Count: 107

Some of you may recall my recommending a Brighton Festival fringe venue calling itself ‘The Poetry Brothel’ back in May? The poets there gave ‘private’ readings in a tongue-in-cheek brothel setting. They also invited punters to leave written comments which they pinned up on the wall during the course of the week. This is the comment that I dropped through their letterbox. 
18 Oct 2007

The Promise by Mickey Word Count: 126

A little romantic piece for Kirsty's challenge! 
9 Sep 2018

The Quarter Final by Mickey Word Count: 214

For Jane's challenge 
9 Jul 2018

The Reading of Grandad’s Will by Mickey Word Count: 172

6 Nov 2017

The Romance of Carpentry by Mickey Word Count: 159

11 Aug 2019

The Sleeper by Mickey Word Count: 98

A recycled Seasonal oferring. Merry Christmas to you all. 
11 Dec 2008

The Space Between by Mickey Word Count: 148

Here’s another romantic offering as the last one seemed to go down well 
7 Aug 2017

The Swiss And Their Part In Our Euro 2004 Downfall by Mickey Word Count: 140

It was either write this or slit my wrists! 
25 Jun 2004

The Trophy Hunter by Mickey Word Count: 101

I saw the body of a deer at the side of the road with its head cleanly removed 
28 Mar 2008

The Truth of Santa Claus by Mickey Word Count: 493

8 Dec 2017

The Unicorn and the Birth of Consumerism by Mickey Word Count: 227

I was reminded of this after having read Ron’s poem. I don’t think I’ve posted it before 
17 Aug 2017

The Windsors by Mickey Word Count: 158

I entered this in a Daily Mail competition to mark the Silver Jubilee. They emailed that it had been accepted but, as soon as I had told everyone, I got a second email saying they’d changed their mind! 
21 Nov 2012

This Just Cannot Be (a song lyric) by Mickey Word Count: 382
1  Comment

This is an alternative song lyric to ‘Hope and Glory’ by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons 
13 May 2006

Three Beat Poems by Mickey Word Count: 129

I wrote these after watching “Sex, Chips & Poetry: 50 Years of The Mersey Sound” on BBC4. It inspired me to dig out the original and to attempt some of my own 
7 Oct 2017

Three Poems for Sunday by Mickey Word Count: 396

Sorry to sneak in three at once but they are only relevant this week 
9 Nov 2017

Tricks of the Trade by Mickey Word Count: 31

The secret of my success! 
17 Aug 2018

Two Landlords by Mickey Word Count: 167

I was inspired to write this piece after reading Joanie’s poem on the memorials on park benches (which has since disappeared, so I can’t comment on it). Jacob Grist (1827-1895) and Joshua Jones (1833-1892) were landlords of inns at either end of the dead straight road (no pun intended) that forms the principal route through my home town of Haywards Heath. 
13 Jul 2018

Two of a Kind by Mickey Word Count: 41

Late entry for Joanie's challenge 
25 Nov 2018

Unrequited Love for an Orthodontist by Mickey Word Count: 79

30 Apr 2015

Water Under The Bridge by Mickey Word Count: 207

17 Jun 2010

Weather Girls by Mickey Word Count: 78

Here’s another one inspired by my foray into the Critique Central group. It was based on Keiron in Janet’s ‘Sole Survivor’ 
1 Feb 2019

Wendy and the Lunchtime Lechers by Mickey Word Count: 119

Harriet Harperson’s latest outrageous intrusion into our lives reminded me of this. Some of you may have seen it before. I’ve just e-mailed it to the Daily Mail but I imagine the last line will preclude its publication! 
1 Apr 2008

Whence Came Christianity? by Mickey Word Count: 107

I have always found myself in the perplexing position of having complete faith in something I don’t believe in. Jesus was born a Jew, lived as a fully Torah-observant Jew, and died a Jew, and yet as Christians, we believe in an idea that he would have found the ultimate blasphemy! 
23 Jun 2017

White Christmas by Mickey Word Count: 114

Kirsty's challenge 443 
7 Dec 2018

Why Insects Don’t Play Football by Mickey Word Count: 153

3 Oct 2018

Why The Ptarmigan Needed A Pee by Mickey Word Count: 180

Just re-joined and thought I'd start with an old one - apologies to those who have read this before! 
13 Apr 2006

Winter Holiday by Mickey Word Count: 155

on the decision to suspend parliament for the winter recess and to be sung to Cliff Richard's 'Summer Holiday'  
3 Feb 2019

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